March 5, 2023|י"ב אדר ה' אלפים תשפ"ג Annual reminders and daily reminders By Rabbi Jonathan Muskat

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I’ll bet you don`t know what day this is." "Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn`t wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I`ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my entire life!”

Sometimes we need reminders. We need reminders about certain days in the calendar and we need reminders about certain events in our history. This Shabbat is a Shabbat of a reminder. We are obligated to remind ourselves about how Amalek attacked us and we fulfill that obligation every year by reading Parshat Zachor on the Shabbat before Purim.

What’s interesting about this mitzva is that the gemara doesn’t discuss when and how often to observe it. The Chatam Sofer (Even Ha-Ezer 1:119) suggests that we must observe this mitzva on an annual basis. He cites the gemara in Brachot (58a) that we recite a bracha of “mechayei ha-meitim,” that God revived the dead, if we hadn’t seen a person in twelve months and there the gemara asserts that certain memories are forgotten after twelve months have passed. Therefore, we must perpetuate the memory of Amalek by recalling the event at least once a year, so that we don’t forget the story and the message. We must not be lulled into complacency when there is calm into thinking that everything is great and everyone loves us. Once a year we are reminded to be vigilant and to keep our antennas up so that when we smell antisemitism and antizionism, we will fight back as best as we can.

But let’s be real. We don’t need a reminder today. Actually, do we ever really need a reminder? Do we really need to read Parshat Zachor this Shabbat after we prepared for, but, thank God, did not experience, an antisemitic “Day of Hate” last Shabbat? Do we really need to read Parshat Zachor after this week of terror when two brothers full of life, Hillel and Yagel Yaniv, were shot and murdered in a terror attack on Sunday and Elan Ganeles, a young man who grew up in West Hartford, was murdered in a terror attack on Monday? Do we really need to read Parshat Zachor today to remind us that there are so many people out there who are trying to kill us?

My response to this question is twofold. First, yes, we need to read Parshat Zachor to teach us that at times it is appropriate for us to model Yaakov Avinu as he was described by Yitzchak: “Ha-kol kol Yaakov v’ha-yadayim y'dei Esav” – the voice is the voice of Yaakov and the hands are the hands of Esav. Having the voice and the conscience of Yaakov does not preclude us from, at times, donning the violent hands of Esav if there is a noble purpose. Rooting out evil is a noble purpose and there is a mitzva once a year to remind us that sometimes violence and destruction are not only permitted, but they are actually a halachic imperative.

But maybe there is another reason for the annual mitzva to remember Amalek even in a world when we are aware that there are modern-day Amalek’s who are trying to destroy us. Let’s take a step back for a second and ask the following question. How often must we remind ourselves of the Amalek story? I remarked earlier that our practice is to remind ourselves of the story once a year and the truth is that there is some discussion about whether that is actually true. The Sefer Ha-Chinuch, for one, writes that you don’t need to remind yourself every year about the story of Amalek. You can remind yourself once a year or once every two or three years. (Mitzva #603) On the other hand, the Rambam (Sefer Ha-mitzvot, mitzvat asei 189) classifies this mitzva as a mitzva temidit, a mitzva which must be fulfilled constantly. However, this is not our practice. Our practice is to read the story of Amalek once a year. We need an outlet to reflect on the evil in the world so we have that outlet once a year. And maybe the purpose of this outlet is to contrast it with another mitzva of memory.

Each and every day we recite kriat shema twice, once in the morning and once in the evening. When we recite kriat shema, we obviously fulfill the mitzva of reciting kriat shema, and we also fulfill the mitzvah of “למען תזכור את יום צאתך מארץ מצרים כל ימי חייך,” of remembering yetziat Mitzrayim, the exodus from Egypt. This is a daily obligation. Remembering Amalek is an annual obligation and remembering yetziat Mitzrayim is a daily obligation. We must appreciate this contrast and we must live our lives based on this contrast.

Amalek and yetziat Mitzrayim tell us different things. Amalek tells us once a year to highlight the bad all around us and how we should respond – through destroying evil. Yetziat Mitzrayim tells us every day to highlight the good all around us and how we should respond – through bringing goodness into the world. The annual Amalek reminder tells us to keep the evil of Amalek only in the back of our mind. The daily yetziat Mitzrayim reminder tells us to keep the values of yetziat Mitzrayim – caring for the underprivileged because we were slaves, offering thanks to God for redeeming us and living a mission-driven life – in the forefront of our mind.

The stark contrast between the frequency of these reminders communicates to us a very powerful message about how we should go about our lives. John Gottman coined the ideas of positive sentiment override and negative sentiment override when it comes to relationships. Positive sentiment override is when you view your partner and overall relationship through a positive perspective. Negative sentiment override means seeing your partner and overall relationship through a negative lens. But that’s not just a question of how we view a partner or a relationship. It’s a question of how we view our lives and the world around us. Is there so much good around us? Yes. Is there so much bad around us? Yes. The question is what is our focus? What do we highlight? Are we positive sentiment override people or negative sentiment override people? The Torah could not be clearer. We should be positive sentiment override people. We must remind ourselves about Amalek and destruction of evil only once a year, but we must remind ourselves about Yetziat Mitzrayim and faith and kindness each and every day.

I think it is no coincidence that the celebration of Purim itself takes place immediately following the annual mitzvah to remind ourselves about Amalek, not just because Haman was both a biological and spiritual descendant of Amalek, but because Purim itself presents a sharp contrast to Parshat Zachor. Yes, once a year let’s highlight the evil and the need to destroy the evil, but then let’s celebrate a holiday which highlights the positive to the extreme. We have a mitzvah of extreme thanks – read the megillah ideally in front of a large crowd, for pirsumei nisa, to highlight the miracle. Even after the miracle of Purim we were still in exile and we were still subservient to Achshaverosh, but we only celebrate the positive. We have a specific mitzvah called mishloach manot, to further develop our friendships according to the Manot Levi. We have a specific mitzvah to engage in acts of chesed to the evyon, to the poor and the vulnerable. Two days after we read about evil and think about antisemitism that surrounds us, we celebrate the good and engage in positivity to the extreme – extreme thanks to God through the megillah reading, extreme friendship through mishloach manot and extreme charity through matanot la-evyonim.

Each one of us has a choice in life. How do we go about our daily lives? Amalek for one day or every day? Negative sentiment override or positive sentiment override? Yes, we can look all around us with negative sentiment override and live our lives highlighting the bad in our communities, in society and in the state of Israel and be pessimistic about our future, or we can look around us with positive sentiment override and have faith and be optimistic about our future.

Those of us who have been following what’s been going on in Israel with judicial reform have been reading about how the country is on the brink of civil war and how this will be the end of democracy and many more dire predictions about the future of our homeland. And we can be pessimistic, and perhaps with legitimate reason.

But Rav Rimon, Rav of Gush Etzion, wrote a letter this past week, not about the end of democracy or about a prediction of civil war; rather, he wrote a letter that was a call for unity on Taanit Esther and Purim. He wrote, and I am reading a translation of what he wrote in Hebrew, “Let us try to focus on ways that express our unity. Let’s remember: in unity it is fine (and at times even desirable) to think differently but always to love, to respect and to listen. Let’s offer prayers for all those amongst us that are experiencing difficulties or are suffering (and in particular to the families of those killed and wounded from all the most recent terror attacks). Let’s focus on finding the things that bind us together. Let’s be meticulous to not speak ill of each other and to look generously upon all those around us. Let’s focus on listening and considering the views of others, including those whose opinions differ from our own.

And then he recommends that we recite the following “mi she’bairach” following kriat ha-Torah:

מי שברך אבותינו אברהם יצחק ויעקב הוא יברך וישמר כל אחד ואחת מעם ישראל .יתן בלבנו להביט בעין טובה על הכל. יתן בנו אהבה גדולה על כל אחד ואחת מישראל ונזכה לאחדות איתנה ולגאולה שלמה בקרוב בימינו ונאמר אמן

May He who blessed our forefathers Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov. Bless and protect each one of the Jewish people. Stir our hearts to look generously on all. Place in us overwhelming love for each person of our people Israel. And may we merit unswerving unity and a complete redemption, soon in our times. And let us say Amen.

May we all live our lives as per the aspirations of Rav Rimon’s prayer. May we appreciate that the mitzvah of remembering Amalek is but once a year, and may we utilize the extreme mitzvot of the upcoming holiday of Purim to strengthen an attitude of positivity, gratitude, friendship and kindness to all.