May 9, 2025|י"א אייר ה' אלפים תשפ"ה Loving God, Loving Others: Finding Harmony in Conflict By Rabbi Jonathan Muskat

The interplay between loving God (Ahavat Hashem) and loving one’s fellow Jew (Ahavat Yisrael) has been a foundational question in Jewish thought for generations. At its core lies a profound tension: Can one truly love God while clashing with others over what is perceived as His will? Or, conversely, does true devotion to God demand a kind of human love that transcends even the sharpest disagreements?

The Challenge of Disagreement

This question came to the forefront during a Yom Ha’atzmaut Q&A session at Yeshiva University, where Rav Herschel Schachter and Rav Mordechai Willig discussed controversial positions taken by Torah giants (gedolim). The specific focus was on positions regarding participation in the World Zionist Organization (WZO) and army service. For many in the religions Zionist community, positions against participating in the WZO and against serving in the IDF feel indefensible, sparking deep discomfort.

Rav Willig’s response was insightful. He acknowledged the legitimacy of feeling that certain positions are indefensible but stressed the importance of respecting talmidei chachamim (Torah scholars). Disagreements among great rabbis have always existed, he noted, yet respect for them remains essential. Even though he did not explain why, I would imagine that this is because respecting them even when we disagree with them upholds the dignity of Torah. Rav Soloveitchik, Rav Willig’s teacher, exemplified this principle. Despite differing sharply from other American gedolim on significant issues, he never attacked them. Instead, he modeled humility and respect, even ceding honors to other gedolim at weddings.

The takeaway is profound: respect for Torah leaders is a value in and of itself. Disagreement need not devolve into discord, even when the stakes feel monumental. This principle challenges us to examine how we handle disagreements in our own lives, particularly when they touch on matters of faith and values.

Loving God Versus Loving Others

In this week’s parsha, the Torah commands v’ahavta l'rei’acha kamocha ("Love your neighbor as yourself"), but in a later parsha, the Torah commands v’ahavta et Hashem Elokecha ("Love the Lord your God"). These two imperatives can feel like opposing forces when defending divine values seems to come at the expense of kindness and respect for others. Is it ever permissible to sacrifice love for one’s fellow Jew in the name of God?

Some argue that defending God’s truth justifies a degree of harshness or confrontation. After all, the gemara in Brachot 19b states that any place where there is Chillul Hashem, we do not impart honor to a Rav. Certainly, that means that we should not impart honor to a layperson! However, this approach risks conflating zealotry with devotion. It’s all too easy to lose sight of the Torah’s ultimate goal: fostering a society that reflects God’s values—values that are inherently bound to love and unity.

Rav Kook on Natural Morality and Torah

To navigate this tension, Rav Kook offers a transformative perspective. He argues that natural morality—the ethical instincts embedded within us—is itself a form of divine revelation. According to Rav Kook, the soul, imbued by the divine, naturally gravitates toward goodness. The Torah, rather than suppressing this innate morality, builds upon it.

In fact, Rav Kook cautions that divorcing Torah from natural morality can lead to profound distortions. A person who ignores his ethical instincts in the name of Torah risks misinterpreting the Torah’s intent, allowing selfish or unethical motives to masquerade as piety. True fear of Heaven, he teaches, refines and elevates our moral instincts, enabling us to achieve greater spiritual perfection. Love for God, therefore, must emerge from and be intertwined with love for humanity. Without the latter, the former remains incomplete.

Rav Kook’s view illuminates an essential truth: the pathway to divine love runs through human love. The more deeply we love others, the more profoundly we can connect to God. Rabbi Akiva’s declaration that Shir HaShirim (Song of Songs) is "holy of holies" reflects this idea. The book’s romantic imagery mirrors the love between God and Israel, a love rooted in human relationships. It’s no coincidence that Rabbi Akiva, who overtly expressed profound love for his wife, is the one who elevated this text to its exalted status.

Disagreeing Without Being Disagreeable

In light of Rav Kook’s philosophy, it becomes clear why we should emphasize respectful disagreement, even with those who aren’t Torah leaders. Respecting others, even when we strongly disagree, isn’t merely a practical strategy for maintaining communal harmony. It’s an expression of love for God, who cherishes unity among His people. Just as God’s love for us encompasses our flaws, our love for others—including those with whom we disagree—should reflect that divine patience and compassion.

The Chassidic masters echo this sentiment. They teach that harshness in the name of Heaven often signals a deficiency in one’s own spiritual love. A person who truly loves God will naturally seek to build bridges, not burn them. This doesn’t mean compromising on principles but finding ways to uphold them that honor the divine image in others.

A Call to Action

Our generation is inundated with disagreements, many of them heated and divisive. Social media amplifies this dynamic, often turning minor differences into sources of public conflict. In such an environment, Rav Kook’s teachings and Rav Willig’s message are more relevant than ever.

When faced with tension between Ahavat Hashem and Ahavat Yisrael, let’s strive to see them as interconnected rather than conflicting. Loving others is not a compromise of our love for God; it’s a fulfillment of it. Disagree passionately if you must, but never lose sight of the person behind the opinion. As Rav Soloveitchik modeled, disagree, but do not become disagreeable.

By embracing this balance, we honor both God and His Torah, creating a society that reflects His values—a society where love for God and love for others are not rivals but partners in the divine mission.