May 1, 2023|י' אייר ה' אלפים תשפ"ג The Secret to Creating a Life of Holiness By Rabbi Jonathan Muskat

What is it that makes us holy? Is it our chesed, our acts of kindness, or is it our firm discipline to obey the will of God? I know what we would like to say. We would like to say that at the end of the day, with all of the rules and rituals of our religion, what ultimately makes us holy is how we treat each other. We would like to say that if we observe Shabbat and keep kosher but we do not treat each other well, then how can we be holy? I think we would all like to say that chesed and treating each other with care and compassion is at the very least a significant component to a life of kedusha, of holiness. I wonder if that’s true.

 

Parshat Acharei Mot contains three chapters. One chapter is dedicated to the laws of Yom Kippur. One chapter is dedicated to the limitations regarding the consumption of meat. You can’t slaughter a korban shlamim outside the mikdash area and you can’t eat the blood of an animal. One chapter is dedicated to various forbidden sexual practices. All three sections describe halachot about what we shouldn’t do. The essence of Yom Kippur is cessation of any activity, not just work, but food, drink, and normal physical activities. And Yom Kippur is known as the holiness day of the year. The next two chapters describe prohibitions in the area of food and sexual practices. When the Rambam wrote his code of Jewish law, he called it the Yad Ha-Chazakah and “yad” in gematria is 14 because there are fourteen sections in this code. One of the sections is called “Sefer Kedusha,” or the book of holiness. There are three subcategories in this section. Forbidden relations, forbidden foods and shechita, how to slaughter an animal so that it will be kosher. Holiness for the Rambam is what we read in Parshat Acharei Mot. It’s all about what we can’t do – limitations on sexual relationships and limitations on what we can eat.

 

The Rambam is not the only one who believes this. Rashi famously explained the command of “Kedoshim tihyu” in the second of today’s parshiyot is that we should separate ourselves from the forbidden relationships that were listed at the end of Parshat Acharei Mot. Additionally, the Ramban perhaps even more famously explained that “Kedoshim tihyu” requires us to moderate our behavior and exercise self-discipline even in matters that may be technically permitted. He cautions restraint in overindulgence in permitted sexual relationships and consumption of meat. According to the Ramban, then, Parshat Achrei Mot describes behaviors that are technically forbidden and “kedoshim tihyu” broadens our responsibility in these areas beyond what is technically forbidden. As such, Rambam, Rashi and Ramban all agree that kedusha and holiness is about self-discipline. It’s about what we don’t do but not about what we actually do.

 

Imagine now that you read the beginning of Parshat Kedoshim in a way where the Torah is first telling us, “kedoshim tihyu,” to be holy and then it provides a list of mitzvot which tell us how to be holy. Most of the mitzvot listed in the beginning of Parshat Kedoshim associated with being holy are about what we shouldn’t do. The Torah tells us about respecting our parents, but what does it say – not “kabed et avicha v’et imecha” – not the positive mitzvah of honoring our parents. It says, “ish imo v’aviv tira’u” – it preaches reverence. Don’t act disrespectfully towards your parents. Then the Torah tells us “v’et Shabtotai tishmoru” - observe the Shabbat. The term shamor focuses on the negative aspects of Shabbat – what we shouldn’t do. The Torah then tells us not to make idols and not to leave over korban meat. Even when the Torah tells us to engage in acts of chesed, the Torah formulates these mitzvot in a negative fashion. Don’t harvest the corner of your field, don’t pick up the stalks that may have fallen when you are collecting them. Don’t steal, don’t act deceitfully. Don’t defraud others. The Torah is telling us that if you want to be holy, it’s all about what you shouldn’t do. To be fair, there is one positive behavior, one positive mitzvah in this section. Hochiach tochiach et amitecha – rebuke your friend if he or she is acting inappropriately. Criticize another Jew if he or she is doing something wrong. But nothing else – no other positive behaviors. Don’t engage in negative and if you see someone engaging in negative behaviors, rebuke them. The mitzva of “v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha,” of loving your friend, is contained in this section, but there is no specific obligation to do anything – only a feeling of love. Other than the obligation of loving your friend, which is written right after the prohibition of taking revenge or bearing a grudge, this whole section is about not doing. It’s all about self-discipline.

 

So is that it? Is that the Torah’s message about holiness? Is the Torah trying to tell us that, yes, in Judaism there are many mitzvot, but the key to holiness, to transcendence, to living a lofty spiritual life is only achieved through restraint? Rabbi Zvi Dov Kanotopsky, beloved rebbe at Yeshiva University many years ago, beautifully explained that when we observe positive mitzvot, we create kedusha on objects. When we give charity, we sanctify the money. When we study Torah, we sanctify the words of Torah that emanate from our mouth. Whenever we observe a mitzvat asei, a positive mitzvah, we sanctify something external. However, when we observe a mitzvat lo taaseh, a negative commandment, there is no object to sanctify; rather, we sanctify ourselves. We transform ourselves into vessels of kedusha and holiness. That is why kedusha is linked to what we don’t do, and not to what we do. When we live lives of discipline, our Sages refer to this as “gevura,” or strength. This inner strength frees us from forces of laziness, peer pressure and impulses and allows us to focus on our soul, on our connection to God, on our purpose on this world. Mastering our discipline opens up a whole new world for us to enjoy.

 

I think that kedusha as discipline, as inner strength, is a beautiful idea, but in practice, this approach leaves me a little bit unfulfilled. Does chesed, helping others, engaging in acts of kindness, have any role in creating kedusha in our lives? Are acts of chesed merely mitzvot, but nothing more than that? I would like to be part of a religion where how we treat others in a positive way is so central to living our lives in holiness, in kedusha. Does chesed play a role in achieving kedusha?

 

Absolutely. Parshat Kedoshim begins by God telling Moshe, “daber el kol adat Bnei Yisrael” – to speak to the entire nation of Israel. That’s not the standard line that God uses. He generally says, “daber el Bnei Yisrael” – speak to the Bnei Yisrael. But here he adds “kol adat” – the whole nation. The Chatam Sofer explains:

 

מלמד שנאמרה פרשה זו בהקהל.  לא קדושה של התבדלות ונזירות דורשת התורה, אלא אדרבה קדושים בהקהל נאמרה – היו קדושים בהיותכם בתוך קהל ועדה ומעורבים עם הבריות.

 

God said this section said while all of klal Yisrael were assembled to teach us that this kedusha that God commanded was not a kedusha of separation. Just the opposite, the kedusha was said as they were all assembled, as if to say, “Be holy when you are amongst the nation and engaging in society.” God is telling us to strive for holiness, strive for discipline, strive for inner strength, but don’t forget that you are still part of a community. Don’t disengage from the rest of society that may not be taking that spiritual journey together with you. Don’t allow your greater spiritual growth to separate yourself from the rest of the nation. 

 

But the Sfat Emet makes a slightly different comment, which I think has profound implications. He writes that על ידי התאחדות בכלל ישראל זוכים לקדושה, when there is a feeling of unity amongst the Jewish people, we merit kedusha, or holiness. The feeling of connectedness and the feeling of belonging help us achieve kedusha. Engaging in acts of chesed which create feelings of belonging create kedusha.

 

Let me give you an example of what I mean. I read an amazing post on Facebook about a WhatsApp exchange. Someone posted, “היי יש למישהו דגל גדול להשאיל לי להיום להפגנה?” “Does someone have a large flag to lend me today for the demonstration.” A person was attending a pro-judicial reform demonstration, so he was looking for an Israeli flag. Another person on the chat responded, “יש לי אבל תחזירי לי עד מוצש כי הוא משמש אותי להפגנה נגד הרפורמה.” “I have one but please return it to me before Saturday night because I need it for the anti-judicial reform demonstration.” Then the first person responded,  אחזיר לך מחר בבוקר בעזרת השם תודה’”-“I will return it to you tomorrow morning, God willing. Thank you!” This is an act of chesed which creates a feeling of belonging. I don’t care if you are pro-judicial reform or anti-judicial reform in Israel. I disagree with your politics, but I still care about you. We are still connected. And that is exactly why the positive mitzvah of care and compassion in this section of “kedoshim tihyu,” of holiness, is recorded in the form of a feeling, an emotion, “v’ahavta l’rei’acha kamocha” – love your neighbor like yourself. Yes, engage in acts of chesed! Yes, help those out in need. It’s very important that we provide for others what they lack if we are able to do so. But in the context of “kedoshim tihyu” – in the context of achieving kedusha, or sanctity, the Torah tells us that it’s all about attitude – it’s about v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha – it’s about creating a feeling of belonging with those around us through our acts of chesed.

 

What is it that makes us holy? Is it our chesed, our acts of kindness, or is it our firm discipline to obey the will of God? We have been given a gift called the Torah to help us transcend our natural selves and become instruments of kedusha, of inner strength, of discipline. That is difficult enough to achieve and, yet, the Torah demands more. The Torah demands that we create a community of kedoshim, a community of individuals who strive for that inner strength. And the way that we do that is through “kol adat Bnei Yisrael” – through feelings of unity, through “v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha,” through a clear expression of love for the other such that he or she feels that sense of belonging. And study after study shows that feelings of belonging lead to greater growth and high achievement. When I see a person or a group of people striving for greatness and I feel connected to them, then I am motivated to strive for that greatness, as well. When we become individuals who grow in inner strength, in mastering our discipline and self-control, in not being drawn after our impulses and our immediate needs and when we can simultaneously create a feeling of “v’ahavta l’reiacha kamocha,” a feeling of belonging with everyone that we meet through the acts of chesed that we do for others, then that is when our kedusha will become contagious and when we will achieve Kedoshim tihyu not just for ourselves, but for “kol adat Bnei Yisrael,” for those around us.