July 31, 2022|ג' אב ה' אלפים תשפ"ב The Stops Along our Journey Through Life By Rabbi Jonathan Muskat

Can you picture a world where we not only understand what our destination should be, but we also appreciate all the stops along the way?

Unfortunately, many times, we do not understand what our destination should be in this world. Rav Elchanan Wasserman came to America to fundraise for his Yeshiva. When he arrived, the leaders of the community tried to help and told him about a very wealthy irreligious Jew, who used to be religious, in the garment industry, who can solve all of the Yeshiva’s financial problems. Though, they warned him that is very hard to schedule a meeting with the rich man and even harder to get money out of him. Rav Elchanan tried a few times to schedule a meeting with him and was finally successful. When he walked in, they began to talk and they quickly learned that they were relatives; they were distant cousins who knew each other when they were young children learning in cheder together. They both sat and shared with one another their life experiences. Rav Elchanan told him about how he started learning in yeshiva, and then in a Kollel with the Chafetz Chayyim and then started a yeshiva. The business man shared that he came to America and was selling fabric from a pushcart until he was able to buy a sewing machine and sell a few coats and now he has 300 workers and a lot of real estate. After a warm discussion, he asked Rav Elchanan, “What are you doing here? Why did you come all the way to America?” Rav Elchanan answered, “I came to see you, to say hello. To check in on a relative of mine.” “That can’t be,” he responded. “You came all the way from Europe. You could have sent a letter. Why are you really here?” Rav Elchanan said, “I came to say hi,” and left the office. The businessman was very intrigued and the next day he sent messengers to ask Rav Elchanan to come back. When Rav Elchanan arrived, the rich man said, “Tell me the truth. Why did you come?” Rav Elchanan answered, “I’ll tell you. I heard you have a sewing company and the bottom button on my frock is loose. Can you get someone to sew it for me?” The man responded laughingly, “Do me a favor! Tell me the truth! You did not spend all this money, travel by ship for so many weeks and cross the ocean just to sew a loose button.” Rav Elchonon answered, “My dear cousin, listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth. Listen to what you are saying! I didn’t come all this way to sew a button on. You too! Your neshama came from the kisei hakavod, the divine throne! It did not come all this way to sell a few coats and sew some buttons! Is that what your purpose in life is?!” The man burst into tears, as he hadn’t kept Shabbat or put on tefillin in years and asked Rav Elchanan to help him return to religion and he ended up covering all the costs of Rav Elchanan’s Yeshiva for the next two years.

Sometimes we need a Rav Elchanan Wasserman in our lives to remind us what our real destination in this world should be. It’s not the dream job, the dream house, or the dream vacation. The destination is to serve God in this world, to spread Torah values in this world, to raise families and to inspire others to spread these values. That is our destination. We need jobs and houses and sometimes we need to go on vacation to recharge our batteries. But we always need to understand what our true purpose in life is and what our destination should be.

But sometimes, we understand our destination but we don’t understand the value of the stops along the way. When we go on vacation, then the stops along the way are significant. We let everyone know about each and every stop when we post these stops on social media, on Facebook.

Imagine, for one moment, if there was social media as the Bnei Yisrael were traveling in the desert. Would they have taken selfies at every stop in their journey to Eretz Yisrael? "Here is my family in Dophkah, with desert sand in the background." "And here is my family in Alush, with desert sand in the background." "And here is my family in Kivrot Ha’Taavah, with, you guessed it, desert sand in the background." Maybe they would have posted a selfie in Refidim saying, “Here is my family in Refidim. Please send water. ##dyingofthirst.” But there was no social media thousands of years ago, so there were no selfies, but Moshe let everyone know about the stops along the way when he listed all of them in Parshat Masei, and I wonder why.

Maybe when I go on vacation then I want to share with everyone all the stops along the way because they are part of the vacation. But when I’m traveling to get a destination, like the Promised Land, then why do I need to list all of the stops along the way?

Why does Moshe share with us his nation’s itinerary through the desert, without much information? For the most part we read the names of the places where we stopped and occasionally, we read about some interesting thing that happened at a particular place, like how there were twelve springs in Elim and seventy palm trees or like how there was no water in Refidim or like how Aaron died at Hor Ha’Har. But for the most part, we just list the places. Why does the Torah do that?

The commentaries are bothered by this question and propose different approaches to explain the inclusion of our desert itinerary in the Torah. The Midrash Tanchuma (Bamidbar 33:3) explains the list of places with the following parable. There was a king whose son was sick in many places so the father took the son to a bunch of places to heal him. After they returned from all these places, the father said, “Here you had a cold, here you hurt your head, etc.” Similarly, God wanted Moshe to write down this list as a reminder of the places in the desert where He got angry at the Bnei Yisrael. The Midrash Hagadol (Ibid.), however puts more of a positive spin on the parable, that God said to Moshe to write down all the places and point out here you sinned, but here you received the Torah and here you kept the Shabbat. This midrash is a more complete picture of the journey of the Bnei Yisrael. There were moments when we were at our best and there were moments when we weren’t at our best and we highlight both by listing all of our stopovers on the way to Eretz Yisrael.

In fact, I saw one of the Chassidic works on the parsha, called Maor Vashemesh, written by Rav Kalonymos Kalman HaLevi Epstein, a student of Rav Elimelech of Lizhansk and the Chozeh of Lublin, where he points out based on the names of the places where they journeyed what happened to the Bnei Yisrael in that particular place. For example, when the Torah states that they traveled from Kivrot Ha’Taavah, where they “kavru” – buried, their “taavah,” or desire for meat after the debacle with the quail, they arrived in Chatzerot, literally meaning courtyards. He explains that when we try to eliminate our desire for something, we initially stay indoors in our tents so that we are not tempted by the desire by going out in the chatzerot and the rechovot, in the courtyards and the streets, where we will more likely be tempted. However, the Bnei Yisrael fully eliminated their desire such that when they arrived in Chatzerot they feared God so much that they even went outside in the “chatzerot,” the courtyards and streets without been tempted. And he does this analysis for the name of each place where the Bnei Yisrael stopped on their journey to Eretz Yisrael.

The point is that the stopovers are significant. Even though the destination, the Promised Land, is crucial, the stopovers are also crucial, even if they were failures, or maybe even more so if they were failures. The reason is that during these stopovers the Bnei Yisrael were tested and challenged and they learned things about themselves that made them into who they are. And what’s fascinating is that the Bnei Yisrael were totally unfocused about that aspect of the journey. See, the Torah states, “va’yichtov Moshe et motza’eihem l’mas’eihem al pi Hashem” – Moshe wrote their goings forth for their travels by the word of God, “v’eileh mas’eiehem l’motza’eihem” – and these are their travels according to their goings forth. The pasuk reverses itself. First it says, “motza’eihem l’mas’eihem” and then it says “v’eileh mas’eihem l’motza’eihem.” Rav Hirsch explains that for the Bnei Yisrael, “v’eileh mas’eihem l’motza’eihem.” Their travels were for the purpose of going forth, or for their destination. The Bnei Yisrael did not view their stops along the way as significant. Their goal was to arrive at their destination, at the Promised Land. However, Moshe wrote “motza’eihem l’mas’eihem al pi Hashem.” To God, they were motza’eihem l’mas’eihem. Each motza, each time they went forth, each time they broke up camp, it was l’mas’eihem – it was for a particular journey, a particular challenge, a particular goal. Bnei Yisrael could care less about the stops along the way, but these stops were designed by God and crucial the development of the Bnei Yisrael.

Yes, some people don’t have any sense about their proper destination in life, but many of us, like Rav Elchanan Wasserman, do. Many of us want to live lives when we are constantly engaging in acts of chesed and generosity. Many of us want to make significant contributions to our society. Many of us want to raise children who have good values, who live lives of Torah and mitzvot. Many of us want to be a voice in the world in spreading Torah and Torah values. And then things happen. And then we have obstacles in our way and those obstacles can be frustrating. Despite my best efforts, my child does not appreciate Torah and mitzvot like I do. Despite my best efforts, our marriage is such a struggle with all the financial burdens and difficulties. Despite my best efforts, I find myself struggling just to keep up. I might not achieve my destination or my goals. I’m sure some of us can reflect and maybe have some regret about some lofty goal that has not been achieved and we can ask why didn’t I do that, and why did this happen to me? We could spend countless hours taking care of a parent at the end of his or her life and then we can wonder what was the purpose? He or she remained debilitated, suffered tremendously and died anyway despite our care. However, maybe God’s goal was to develop in ourselves a deeper commitment to kibbud av va’aim, to honoring our parent. We could spend countless hours working on a project with a committee that would do wonders for the Jewish people but the project fails. Maybe, though, God’s goal was for us to develop skills in working with a team. We constantly have many journeys, many masa’ot, in our lives. We may think that they are just stopovers, when in reality, they help us become whom we are meant to be. All of those things which seem to be obstacles to reaching our destination may in fact be part of the journey itself. Can you picture a world where we not only understand what our destination should be, but we also appreciated all the stops along the way?