May 21, 2023|א' סיון ה' אלפים תשפ"ג Va-ahavtem et ha-ger: Loving the convert By Rabbi Jonathan Muskat

This coming week, we will celebrate the holiday of Shavuot, the holiday when we all converted to Judaism. Indeed, the gemara (Keritut 9a) derives from the Sinai experience each of the ingredients of conversion, including the requirements for immersion in a mikvah and in the case of male converts, brit milah. Our statement of “na-aseh v’nishma,” of accepting the Torah even without knowing all of the mitzvot, parallels the requirement of accepting the mitzvot even without knowing all of the details. We read the story of Ruth on Shavuot, which is a story of the experience of the conversion of the individual.

 

That is why I am proud to join in this Shabbat “ve-ahavtem et ha-ger” – “loving the convert” initiative. As per this initiative, rabbis in approximately 120 shuls in Israel and 30 shuls in America will address this topic. But why am I talking about this in Oceanside? First of all, we are a nation of chesed. We feel sorry for those in need.

 

A story is told about a fisherman who wanted to go fishing. Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait.  Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.  An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms.

 

We are a nation of chesed. We are a nation that feels sorry for those who are vulnerable. Therefore, we need to create awareness in our community of segments of our community that are vulnerable and we may not be aware of all of their struggles. Converts are one of these segments of the community. Converts report a high degree of loneliness. After all, those of us who have grown up Jewish and certainly those of us who have grown up orthodox feel rooted in our religion. We were raised by Jewish parents. We have Jewish family. Our family is a tremendous source of strength for many of us. Converts do not have that luxury.

 

I was reading some stories by converts who describe this loneliness. For them, they understand that keeping Shabbat and kosher may be challenging, but they are excited to grow. But the hardest part is the loneliness. Some parents are offended when their children convert and some parents cut the children off. Many converts express a high degree of loneliness.

 

Additionally, finding a shidduch is difficult for converts. A recent survey found that 59% of people in Israel who identify as religious Zionists would not want their children marrying a convert. I have no reason to believe that the numbers should be any different in America. What that means is that our community is uncomfortable with converts. Maybe we feel that they are too different or maybe we feel that they aren’t really sincere and we may question their Jewishness. This is just wrong. The Torah prohibits us from onaat devarim, from harmful speech towards another, and one of the examples that the Mishna in Bava Metzia (4:10) provides is:

אם הוא בן גרים לא יאמר לו זכור מעשה אבותיך

“If he is the son of converts, don’t say to him, ‘Remember the deeds of your ancestors.’” We shouldn’t say things that are insensitive to the convert because he is vulnerable. Included in this prohibition would be to question his conversion. Is he really Jewish? And this is probably why such a high percentage of people in our community would not want their child to marry a convert, out of some distorted notion that the person is not 100% Jewish.

 

So one way that I would view our responsibility towards converts is increased compassion. The Torah often groups the “ger,” the convert, with the “yatom va’almana,” with the orphan and widow. The convert is vulnerable and we need to be extra sensitive to the convert and realize that they often have no family support, they are viewed as different by the rest of us to the extent that many of us wouldn’t want our children to marry them, their Jewishness is often incorrectly questioned, and that some of them may be embarrassed by their past.

 

But I think that there is another way that the Torah expects us to appreciate the convert. The Torah specifically tells us, “Va-ahavtem et ha-ger,” that you should love the convert. The Torah doesn’t tell us to love the convert, the widow and the orphan. The Torah tells us to specifically love the convert. Maybe we should be extra sensitive to the convert, widow and orphan because they are vulnerable, but there is a mitzvah to love specifically the convert, not having anything to do with his or her vulnerability.

 

Just because you are different or are excluded, it doesn’t mean that you are vulnerable. Take today’s parsha, for example. The parsha begins with God commanding Moshe to conduct a census of the entire Jewish community, counting each person according to their respective tribes. But there is a tribe that is excluded, and that is the tribe of Levi and what’s clear from the parsha and that Levi’s exclusion from the census doesn’t relegate it to an inferior role. After all, they serve as custodians for the mishkan and they assist the kohanim in their tasks. The Leviim were set apart and given a unique role and the same thing can be said for the convert.

 

Why is there is a specific mitzvah to love the convert? Is it because we feel bad for them? The Rambam writes  (Hilchot De-ot 6:4) that the reason for the mitzvah of ahavat ha-ger, of loving the convert is that he is “nichnas tachat canfei ha-shechina” – he has entered into the covenant of God. We must not love the convert because we feel bad for him. We must love the convert because we admire him.

 

Now the Torah tells us (Devarim 10:19):

וַאֲהַבְתֶּ֖ם אֶת־הַגֵּ֑ר כִּֽי־גֵרִ֥ים הֱיִיתֶ֖ם בְּאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרָֽיִם:

We should love the “ger” because we were “gerim” in Egypt. What does this mean? Well, Avraham Avinu explains when he buys a burial plot for Sarah “ger v’toshav anochi imachem” – I am both a stranger and a resident among you. Rav Soloveitchik explains Avraham’s statement that even though he is a resident insofar as he has similar concerns for the welfare of society, nevertheless he is a stranger. He has a different faith and he is governed by perceptions, truths and observances that set him apart from the larger faith community. Likewise, the Bnei Yisrael were gerim in Egypt. The midrash tells us that our ancestors did not adopt Egyptian culture or language nor did they engage in sexual depravity like the Egyptians did. To be a “ger” is to remain separate and distinct from our surrounding culture and we celebrate the “ger” who is not born into this separatist group but chooses out of his or her own freewill to reject the community into which he or she was born and to identify with our people and our higher calling.

 

There is a striking statement in the gemara (Kiddushin 70b) in the name of Rabbi Chelbo that converts are problematic for the Jewish people like a “sapachat,” or a wart on the skin. Tosafot has many different explanations for this passage, but one explanation is that converts make others look bad due to their heightened level of mitzvah observance and commitment. Many of us just go through the motions and may not be so inspired in our service of God. The convert made a deliberate choice.

 

If we want to ensure the survival of our Jewish nation, then we need a system of Jewish continuity such that you can’t opt of Judaism. If you are born a Jew, you must remain a Jew. But we also need a group of people that promote passion and excitement. We need Leviim who are outsiders that are admired. The convert fills that role. The convert brings a fresh perspective, new energy and a unique spiritual journey that enriches our collective experience. Don’t just love the convert because you feel bad for him. Love the convert because you admire him.

 

Why is this all relevant to our community? After all, many of us aren’t often in contact with converts. First of all, from time to time we may find ourselves in contact with converts, and we need to be aware of some of the sensitivities involved and how inspired we should be of their journey. But there is another reason why I am speaking about the convert. The convert is an example of someone that we come across each and every day. That man or woman that seems strange, that seems a little different. That man or woman whom we want to ignore. That man or woman who is lonely and needs our support. That man or woman whom you get to know and realize that he or she is an amazing person whose has done amazing things. There are so many wonderful people around us whom we do not get to know because they are a bit different, and maybe in the spirit of the upcoming of holiday of Shavuot when we focus on the “ger,” not only do we commit ourselves to be more sensitive to the ger, the convert in our midst, we also commit ourselves to be more sensitive to the ger, the stranger in our midst, as well.